When was the last time you did something just because you enjoyed it?
Not because it benefited your kids.
Not because it needed to get done.
Not because it was on your never ending to do list.
Just because it made you happy.
If you're struggling to answer that question, you're not alone.
Somewhere between becoming a mom & wife, keeping up with the laundry, making meals, answering a million questions a day, and trying to remember what everyone needs, it's easy to lose sight of what you need.
For a long time, I thought that was just part of motherhood.
I convinced myself that taking time for myself was something I would do "later". After the house was clean. After bedtime. After I caught up on work. After everyone else had what they needed.
The problem?
There was always something else to do. A never ending to do list.
And if I kept waiting until everything was finished, I would never choose myself.
You Are More Than Just A Mom!
Being a mom is one of the greatest parts of my life, but it isn't the only part of who I am.
I'm also someone who loves books, dreams of opening a bookstore one day, enjoys being creative, and loves creating spaces where moms can connect.
The more I made time for those parts of myself, the better I showed up as a mom. When they say "you can't pour from an empty cup", it's true. You need to fill up your cup with your joys to feel like you again.
A Hobby Doesn't Have to Be Big
Just 2 years ago, I had no hobbies. Ever since becoming a mother, I lost myself. I had nothing just for me. Honestly, the word "hobby" gave me anxiety because being a mom was my entire life and I felt guilty trying to do anything that brought joy to only me.
Then one day, my kids and I went to the library. I took one book out to be a good influence to my kids that reading is fun (although I didn't fully agree with that at the time). That one book changed my entire personality. I'm a full on book lover with a home library with hundreds of books.
When people hear the word "hobby", they sometimes picture hours of free time that most moms simply don't have. But hobbies don't have to be expensive or time consuming.
Sometimes it's:
- Reading 10 pages during nap time.
- Taking a walk with your favorite playlist or podcast.
- Painting.
- Journaling.
- Gardening.
- Baking.
- Crocheting.
- Visiting a local coffee shop.
- Joining a book club.
- Starting that business you've always dreamed about.
The point isn't what you choose.
The point is choosing something that belongs to you.
Taking Time for Yourself Isn't Selfish
I used to feel guilty whenever I did something for myself (& still do sometimes). Now I see it differently. When my kids see me reading, building my business, chasing my dreams, or making time for friendships, they're learning something important.
They're learning that moms are people too.
They're learning that it's healthy to have passions, goals, and interests outside of caring for everyone else.
I hope my kids grow up believing they don't have to lose themselves when they become a mom or dad one day. And that starts with me showing them what that looks like.
Start Small
You don't need to completely reinvent your life. You don't need an entire free afternoon or a crazy amount of money.
Start with 10 minutes.
Read one chapter.
Listen to a podcast while folding laundry.
Take your coffee outside before the rest of the house wakes up.
Call or text a friend (or respond to the text you forgot about)
Say yes to that local meetup you've been thinking about.
Little moments add up.
You Still Matter
If no one has told you this lately, let me be the one to say it:
You are allowed to have hobbies.
You are allowed to have dreams.
You are allowed to enjoy things that have nothing to do with motherhood.
Taking care of yourself doesn't take away from your family - it allows you to show up as the fullest version of yourself.
Because before you were "Mom", you were you.
And she still deserves a place in your story.
xoxo
Ashley
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I would love to hear from you: What's one hobby (or something you've always wanted to try) that helps you feel like yourself again? Leave a comment and share this blog post to a mom who needs to read this!